A young mind intrigued by the outer limits of the universe and life beyond the physical realm. His passion for fine arts as well as graphic design fueled his desire to inspire and uplift the world around him. My son founded the brand XNILH, which means "Out of Nothing". I felt moved to build on the blueprints of his artistic legacy by using this platform to promote and create a message of infinite hope, and to raise awareness during National Suicide Prevention month.
It's been over a year since I lost my son by suicide. I've inherited a heartache only one who has experienced this type of tragedy could ever understand. I've been put on a unique journey that will never come to an end but my faith in God will continue to move me forward to healing.
This experience has taught me many lessons and has motivated me to educate other parents who underestimate mental illnesses in adolescents and young adults. I was totally clueless to the signs, and it's my mission to help other parents recognize what's going on in their children's lives.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the US. On average, there are 132 suicides per day.
Depression affects 20-25% of young adults 18+ in a given year. Suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death in the world for those aged 15-24 years.
Suicide among males is 4x's higher than among females. Male deaths represent 79% of all US suicides. There is one suicide for every estimated 25 suicide attempts.
Many young adults who attempt or die by suicide have a mental health condition. As a result, they have trouble coping with the pressures of life such as dealing with rejection, setbacks, failure, breakups, and family turmoil. They are unable to see that they can turn their lives around and that suicide is a permanent response, not a solution, to a temporary problem.
Warning signs might include: Isolating from others, talking, writing, or thinking about death, dramatic mood swings, feeling a deep sense of hopelessness, increasing use of alcohol or drugs, doing risky or self-destructive things, and giving away personal items.
If I had known when I had taken this picture of us in Atlanta on May 17, 2019, that it would be the last time I'd see you, I would have called you back to the car and told you again how much I loved you. I would have told you how extremely proud of the man that you have become. I would have never left you that day. I would have hugged you so tight until you exhaled in my arms. I would have told you how you've always inspired me to completely exhaust myself in the pursuit of my dreams and never give up. As I replay that moment everyday in my mind, the signs were there, but I was oblivious and I'm deeply sorry son. If I could only turn back the hands of time, there are countless of things I would have done had I known this was going to be the last time I'd see you. Until I see you again, you will forever live in me.
I am launching a T-Shirt campaign called "INFINITE HOPE" that showcases my son's own designs, to raise money for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (Louisiana Chapter) . For every T-Shirt purchased, a percentage of the proceeds will be donated to this organization. Please support or donate today and together we can create awareness, infinite hope and save lives.
Like a beautiful flower, his ability to draw people to him with his colorful spirit and infectious energy made it impossible not to want to blossom in his world. If you had the pleasure of meeting him, his gigantic smile, compassion, and kindness brought people together and created a sense of belonging. He left a candid impression of his authentic self that was impossible to forget. His desire to inspire and support others was the catalyst of his existence. The overwhelming love and support for him stretches from New Orleans, Atlanta, Brooklyn, and even as far as China. The creative displays of art work and photos, exhibits the seeds of unconditional love he planted into those he cared for and how he impacted their lives. HE IS LOVE.
The day of his memorial, Saturday July 13th, I had no idea that Hurricane Barry was headed directly to New Orleans on that afternoon. Barry was a category 1 hurricane and It was the first hurricane of the season. He was the “eye” of the storm where there’s calmness, peace and rebirth. Barry was going back home. He was always fascinated with drawing the “eye” since a little boy well into his adulthood.
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